How to Stop Negative Thoughts

 10 Tips to OvercomeNegative Thoughts

When we start to have negative thoughts, it’s hard to stop them. And it’s much easier said than done to shift your focus to positive thoughts. But it’s the only way, especially if you want to avoid going down a path that is painful and unnecessary.

Here are ten things I did to help overcome my negative thoughts that you can also try:

1. Meditate or do yoga.

One of the first things I did was head to a yoga class. It took my focus away from my thoughts and brought my attention to my breath. Yoga is also very relaxing, which helped ease my mind. Yoga helped me stay present to my experience so instead of jumping to what could happen, it brought me back to the now—the only moment, the most important moment.

2. Smile.

I didn’t do much of this during the weekend, so I literally had to bring myself in front of a mirror and force myself to smile. It really does help change your mood and relieve stress. I also felt lighter because it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

I called a friend who I knew could give me constructive yet loving feedback. When you’re stuck in a negative spiral, talk to people who can put things into perspective and won’t feed your negative thinking.

4. Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.

For example, instead of thinking, “We are going to have a hard time adjusting to our living situation,” think, “We will face some challenges in our living situation, but we will come up with solutions that we will both be happy with.

5. Don’t play the victim. You create your life—take responsibility.

The way I was thinking and acting, you would think I was stuk. Even if our living situation becomes unbearable, there is always a way out. I will always have the choice to make change happen, if need be.

6. Help someone.

Take the focus away from you and do something nice for another person. I decided to make a tray of food and donate it to the Salvation Army. It took my mind off of things and I felt better for helping someone else.

7. Remember that no one is perfect and let yourself move forward.

It’s easy to dwell on your mistakes. I felt terrible that I acted this way and that I wasted our weekend. The only thing I can do now is learn from my mistakes and move forward. I definitely don’t want to have a weekend like that again.

8. Sing.

I don’t remember lyrics very well and it’s probably the reason that I don’t enjoy singing, but every time I do sing I always feel better. When we sing, we show our feelings and this provides an amazing stress relief.

9. List five things that you are grateful for right now.

Being grateful helps appreciate what you already have. Here’s my list: my cats, health, a six-week trip to Asia, a new yoga class that I’ll be teaching, and for my mom’s biopsy coming out clean.

10. Read positive quotes.

I like to place Post-It notes with positive quotes on my computer, fridge door, and mirror as reminders to stay positive. Also, I’d like to share with you a quote by an unknown author that was shared in a meditation class that I attended:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Happy positive thinking!

How to grow inner strength

Grow Inner Strength

If there is one thing you can count on in the business world, it's inconsistency. The journey is always a series of ups and downs. Challenges come and become obstacles. Opportunity become triumphs. The one constant is you, and how you deal with all the change. If you are weak inside, you will be batted about like a rowboat in a hurricane. But those who cultivate inner strength are able to weather any storm and can travel great distances at speed when the seas are calm.

My greatest successes have come when I used my inner power to make the most of the good times. And when times were rough, ultimately it was a strong inner core that got me through the worst. You can tune up your inner strength with a few key exercises, just as you would your body. Here are some tips:

1. Know who you are.

Insecurity is an inner-strength killer. Your personality is the foundation of power. Get to know it well. Use tools like StrengthFinder and the work of Kathy Kolbey to understand who you are and how you function best. Then, work on getting comfortable in your own skin. The happier you are with yourself, the less the outside world can do damage, and the more you can give in peace.

2. Spend time in silence.

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The world is a noisy place. Distractions and disruptions can chip away at your core, leaving you frazzled and beat up. Take time to rejuvenate. Set aside one day a month to completely unplug from everything. That means no email, music, TV, or people. It's a great time to connect with nature and just sit with your thoughts. The only way to calm your inner chaos is with 100 percent focus.

3. Set a routine.

Every ounce of energy wasted drains your inner strength. Why do things inefficiently and redundantly? Control what you can control so you can focus your efforts and brainpower on the things you can't control. Grab a notebook. Separate your daily tasks into repetitive tasks and thinking tasks. Then create processes and routines for the repetitive tasks. You'll be thrilled with the time and brain space you just found.

4. Create the right circle.

Hanging out with the wrong people can deplete your energy with every visit. Their inner weakness can suck the life from your inner core. Build your world with others who are strong inside. Keep company with those who celebrate you and feed positive energy into your life. Be brutal and protective about the company you keep. One sour person can take down the whole community.

5. Gain control of your body.

It's tough to feel strong inside if you are unhealthy outside. Make a strong effort to be fit and attractive. Eat well, exercise, and dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. Be proactive about your health, and you can use your body to strengthen your soul. I gain much of my strength from kayaking and running. Sure I struggle with weight (who doesn't?), but I work hard to stay strong and attractive for the woman I love. Make yourself feel good when you look in the mirror and you'll start the day feeling powerful.

6. Give yourself a good home.

When you can't go home and relax at night, you begin every day with a weak start. Get your house in order. If your relationship is bad, fix it or end it. If the kids are out of control, work with professionals to right the ship or send them off to boarding school. Make sure you live in a home that makes you feel happy and proud. Your home should be a safe haven that is worth working and fighting for.

7. Connect with the source of your power.

Regardless of your religion, you can gain inner strength by connecting with your spiritual source. Through prayer, meditation, or simply deep thought, you can center yourself in the universe and understand your role in something bigger and worthy. Connect your core with the world around you, and greatly amplify your inner strength.